WordsByNicole

elizabitchtaylor:

If the point of the Big Bang Theory was to show that male nerds can be just as sexist as male jocks then well done I guess

(via bearpolars)

neven-ebrez:

disastergeek:

bilesandthesourwolf:

Osric is a gift and I’m still upset about Kevin.

We’re all still upset about Kevin.

"Booo from the grave"  OMG…

(via latelyitsstereksorry)

sherlocksmyth:

i am the world’s best dragon slayer. you ever seen a dragon round here? no? you’re welcome.

(via latelyitsstereksorry)

People who don't wear glasses: I wish I wore glasses.

People who wear glasses: No.

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?

Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?

Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.

Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?

Dad: Hey are you awake? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.

Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.

Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.

Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.

Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.

Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.

Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.

Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.

Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*

Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.

Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...

Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.

Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.

Dad: Fuck the government.

Dad: Fuck the school board.

Dad: Close the door.

Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.

Dad: I love puns.

Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.

Dad: Please shut up.

Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.

Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.

Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.

Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.

Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.

Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.

Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.

Dad: They act like I care what they think.

Dad: I hate homework.

Dad: I have decided to become a politician.

Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

student: can i borrow a pencil

teacher: i don't know, CAN you?

student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious

peble:

did i actually save or did i imagine it? better save eleven more times

(via unexotic)

lizthefangirl:

but when you hear a line in a movie/tv show dIREctLY frOM tHE bOOk

image

(via abbieinthecinema)

lifeisbetterwithalittlecolor:

notmydivisionsweetie:

watchtheskytonight:

castlecoffee13:

fabubbly:

I put the laughter in manslaughter

image

How’d the Sherlock fandom get here so fast

We have really good taxi drivers.

^ STOP

(via abbieinthecinema)

rocker310:

stylishirish:

horain:

stylishirish:

this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back 

that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil.

it was a mechanical pencil 

You may proceed

(via abbieinthecinema)

katkinkat:

i wish i could say “?????????” in real life it would be very useful

(Source: baebees, via abbieinthecinema)

cinematography porn - per episode [6/9]
↳ The Reichenbach Fall

(Source: jimoriary, via trudetctve)

HUFFLEPUFF
{ wear }
GRYFFINDOR
{ wear }